This year I really don’t want to post about anything we’re doing for Valentine’s Day. It’s not that those things aren’t good, or that I don’t want to celebrate my wonderful husband or do fun things with my girls. But looking at so many posts gets to be too much sometimes. I don’t know were your click on this post fell in your feeds full of happy faces, lovely dates, crafted perfection or special gifts, and I just don’t want to be another one of those this year. Instead, I want to tell you a story about a time I messed up.

I had just made one of those sweet, heartfelt posts for a special occasion…you know, sort of like today. I was happy and feeling the love. Later that day, the same special person I wrote about said something and I took it the wrong way. I’d like to say I responded in a loving and gracious manner, but the truth is that I didn’t. In my pride, I responded selfishly. And I felt pretty awful about it afterwards. I wish I could say I repented right away as well, but again, I didn’t. Putting something kind and loving online is a lot easier than actually being kind and loving all the time. Of course, I’m not advocating that we should all share our mess-ups with the world online. It’s just that what we say online and what we do in person are sometimes different. I’m no more immune to my own humanity than anyone else, but I carried around the shame of my words the rest of the day. I felt the dichotomy between what I had said and how I had acted, and it felt like a chasm.

Worship probably isn't the top word that comes to someone's mind when thinking about a legacy. Words like heirloom, character, stories, and love might be more common. But have you ever thought about the fact that how (and who) you worship will also become part of our legacy?

Scripture says we should pass down the worship of God from one generation to the next:

“These things we have heard and known, that our fathers told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might, the wonders he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.” (Psalm 78:3-4, a Maskil of Asaph)

Christmas was so sweet this year! It's hard to believe how much has changed. We had just found out that we were having another GIRL around Christmas last year. It felt like life was in an upheaval. It was beautiful for me to understand the reality of the Prince of Peace we celebrate in a deeper way this year. Our morning was pretty simple, with simple gifts (some are even old handmedowns -eek!) but the kids will never know unless they read this one day - and I doubt they will care! My mom always did such an amazing job making everything about Christmas morning so magical, and I love trying to do the same for my girls with the presentation of things.

This year has felt extra special to me. Eleanora is at such a fun stage where all of Christmas is magical and wondrous. Our Genevieve makes everything sweeter and is such a joy to add to our adventures. This year Jonathan and I thought that the kids (mostly Elle) would LOVE to go cut down a tree. It was our first time, and it was quite the experience! We had never been to a tree farm, and in the deep south it was interesting for sure. Sadly neither of the kids were in the best of moods, but it was fun nonetheless. This is what I love so much about taking photos. Images have the power to reshape our memories. Eleanora will not remember her little mood, and honestly neither will I probably. What we will remember is the joy from the experience and the big smiles on our faces when we pulled this tree in our living room. Now, we ended up with a "different than usual" tree called a Leland Cypress, which has actually turned so lovely!  

Today is the day (almost 2 years in the making) that Jonathan and I release our first album, Heartbeat as Ashes & Heirs. In all honestly, I feel a great lack of words at the moment. Our family is in the midst of great sadness, loss and thankfulness for the preservation of life. One family member almost lost their life, a cousin was shot and killed, and my grandfather will meet Jesus very soon. As Jonathan's uncle underwent emergency heart-surgery Monday night, I was hit yet again with the title of our album - Heartbeat. The heart is such a fragile thing. To think that it simply stops beating and we are suddenly lifeless. One moment is all it takes. Here one second. Gone another.